By Mark Belter – Family Man, Devoted Husband and Father
What’s Happening in Youth Sports?
Are kids starting training too young and overtraining? Are parents ruining youth sports?
First off, let me be clear—I love sports. Growing up, I thrived on competition. In the 1980s, everything was a competition for me. It didn’t matter what it was—backyard football, home run derby, basketball, board games—I always wanted to win. Even simple tasks turned into personal challenges. Taking out the trash? I wanted to be the fastest. Mowing the lawn? I’d time myself to beat my previous record. If I didn’t have someone to compete against, I’d compete against myself.
As I got older, this drive for competition extended to racing cars with my buddy—speeding home from work, cutting each other off, even swapping some paint along the way. We were young, reckless, and having fun. In our 20s, it became a competition over who could drink the most beers or finish them the fastest.
So when I talk about youth sports today, it’s not because I don’t understand competition—I do. But as I’ve grown older (and supposedly more mature), I’ve realized that youth sports have changed dramatically. That competitive fire is still in me—I even find myself timing how fast I can make pizza dough at the pizza shop! But the way sports are structured for kids today? It’s a completely different world.
The State of Youth Sports Today
I believe parents have taken youth sports to an extreme level. The pressure, politics, and overall intensity have sucked the fun out of sports for many kids.
As a child, I played because it was fun. My best childhood memories are from playing sports. My parents didn’t coach me, scream at me from the sidelines, micromanage my practices, take me to extra training, or talk to my coaches. They simply let me play.
A few weeks ago, my wife and I sat at an AAU basketball tournament for 5th graders, watching parents lose their minds. We joked that we should start a social media channel just to capture the insanity that happens at these youth sporting events. It would be must-watch TV!
The Money Factor
I’ve been involved in youth sports for over 15 years, and I honestly don’t know what changed. The only two reasons I can think of? Money and parents wanting their kids to have better opportunities than they did.
The amount of money spent on youth sports is staggering. Once parents start investing time and money, the stakes feel higher, and the intensity grows.
The Aspen Institute estimates that U.S. families spend $30 to $40 billion annually on their kids’ sports. The average cost per child? $900 per season. If your kid plays multiple sports, you can multiply that cost. And that doesn’t even include travel expenses, hotel stays, or rising entry fees just to watch these games.
On top of equipment and league costs, many parents now invest in private training sessions to keep up with kids who are already specializing in one sport at age eight. If one kid is getting elite-level coaching, others feel the need to keep up—and before you know it, youth sports become a year-round, high-pressure grind.
What Happened to Sports?
What changed from the ‘80s and ‘90s to now? Sports have taken over family time.
Sitting down for dinner together? Nearly impossible with multiple practices every night.
Sunday church? Takes a backseat to tournaments.
Parents are becoming increasingly out of control when it comes to youth sports. Just look at the headlines—referees being assaulted, coaches being attacked, full-on brawls breaking out at youth games. It’s out of hand.
I’ve personally witnessed plenty of fights, screaming matches, and aggressive sideline behavior. I’ve had parents confront me as a coach, seen people scream at refs, and even watched parents pressure volunteer coaches—many of whom have little coaching experience—like they’re running a professional team.
Back in my day? I was dropped off at practice and picked up when it was over. No parents lined the sidelines to watch practice.
Coaching Perspective: What Should Youth Sports Be About?
I don’t claim to be a perfect coach, but I always try to focus on two main things:
- Making sure the kids have fun.
- Teaching fundamentals.
Winning is great, but when sports become only about winning, things go sideways. I want kids to enjoy competing and experience the joy of winning, but I also want them to understand that losing isn’t the end of the world. More often than not, they’re over it within minutes—especially if they grab some ice cream on the way home!
The reality? Parents are spending thousands of dollars and hours upon hours training their kids. But why? What’s the goal?
Do kids actually enjoy going from one practice to another every single day?
Do they love constant training?
98% of the time, the answer is no.
Sure, there’s a small percentage of kids who love working out and training. But most are doing it because their parents are pushing them. Most of the time, it’s what the parents want, not the kids.
I believe most parents have good intentions. They want their kids to succeed, gain confidence, and make friends. But often, they push too hard without realizing it.
The Reality of Youth Sports
In all my years coaching, I’ve learned that winning isn’t everything. If given the choice, I’d rather go 0-10 in football but lose every game by one score, than go 10-0 and dominate every opponent by 30 points. That’s because the kids don’t care as much as the parents do.
I’ve coached hundreds of games and have four boys of my own. I can’t think of a single time when a loss bothered a kid more than an hour after the game ended. By then, they’re checking their phones, playing outside, or even hanging out with the same kids who just beat them.
As a coach, I sometimes dwell on bad calls or decisions I made, but other than that? I move on. As a parent, my only real concerns are:
- Did my kids have fun?
- Did they learn the game?
- Were they good teammates?
- Did they give 100% effort (not being the best, but doing their best)?
The Harsh Truth
Youth sports should be about building confidence, friendships, and great memories. That’s it.
The odds of making it to the NFL, NBA, or a top-tier college program? Extremely low. Even playing Division I college sports is rare. And some kids don’t even want to pursue sports at that level.
So why all the pressure, investment, and intensity?
The kids who truly have next-level talent will be the ones working on their own, without being pushed. They won’t need parents screaming at them from the sidelines. They’ll push themselves.
Since the 1990s, I’ve played with, coached, and watched some incredible athletes. Out of hundreds of players, I know of one who made it to the NFL and one who played in the CFL. A handful made it to college football—mostly at smaller schools.
That’s it.
So, my advice? Enjoy youth sports for what they should be. Let kids have fun, learn, and make memories—without all the pressure.